Chennai/Madras:

We arrived to the city that is said to be blah…

Chennai was dirty, polluted and basically disgusting. I can’t think of too much to write about. Other than being in a bustling metropolis and being confronted again with the sights of extreme poverty and retched living conditions that so many are subjected to. There were some interesting foreigners staying at the same guest hose; the masters student who was gathering research for his thesis on the pollution and gathers in the sediment of the main river that passes through Madras, the Chilean girl who has been coming to India for 7 years (only returning to Chile, for a few months at a time) as a tour guide and to study the dance of Tamil Nadu, the Indian cosmetic surgeon who has lived in California for the past 30 years and who’s wife refuses to move back to India…

The beach in Madras was a sight to see. The beach is known to be one of the biggest in India. We chose to hit the beach a dawn, and found that the beach is almost 1 kilometer wide… When you start walking on the sand, you cannot see the sea, but only sand. It was crazy to see the thousands of Indians and the hundreds of Card readers offering to read our fortunes (without any English!) with the aid of their parrots. The parrot pulls the fortune cards from the deck, while the Tout interprets the cards… Then there were the small “human powered” marry-go-rounds, the endless fish and ice cream stands, it was like a monstrous carnival on the coast.

After a week in Madras we hopped on a flight to Goa.

Behold the “TIM TAM SLAM”

A “TIM TAM” is like a Chocolate Peak Frean that is covered in chocolate. They are from Australia, but are also sold here in India. The cookies are so so by themselves. But by some miraculous Devine intervention or some marketing lackey’s dubious genius this mediocre cookie has been elevated to complete bliss. some marketing dude came up with the “TIM TAM SLAM”

Firstly you bite of a small corner of the cookie, then repeat on the opposite corner (creating a diagonal across the cookie – connecting the two bites). Now you put one of the bitten off corners into a coffee/tea and use the Tim Tam as a straw. As soon as the coffee tea reaches your mouth you stop sucking and bite the Tim Tam. The coffee/tea will have warmed and melted the Tim Tam from the inside out, and the whole thing then melts in your mouth… Pure heaven!

For those who have been to Australia and did not share this with the rest of us, shame shame. For those who know it; are blessed. Those who do not; better luck next time.

Pondicherry

When it was time to leave the yoga ashram, I felt sad that this chapter of the trip was ending, knowing that we were leaving the tranquility of mountains. I was not looking forward to the hustle and bustle of India – the rickshaws, and their endless horns. But after a few bus rides, we arrived in Tamil Nadu to find that the rickshaws are not electric but squish operated. Like the old school horns, these are no where near as annoying as they are so much quieter. We arrived in Madurai and headed to the train station to see if we could head out that same night. The station attendant initially said that it was impossible to leave that same night, sticking to her guns, she repeater herself 5 times. But then decided to call someone, as it turned out we were very lucky, as there was a train going close to Pondicherry. (kind of odd, as ALL trains were passing by…) Yup, this is defiantly India, no intentional deception, just the way things go.

We headed off to check grab a bite to eat and check out the Sri Meenakshi Temple – Madurai’s main attraction. As with most time limiting sight seeing expeditions, the temple was far too much to absorb in only 2 hours.

We had decided to go to Pondicherry as a friend of ours had been here and gone to “The School for Perfect Eye Sight.” So we were here to check it out and see if we could improve our vision. The school walks you through about 2 hours of exercises, both in the morning and afternoon. But the most important thing is to curb the use of your glasses and eliminate using contacts. But I found that walking around a strange town in a different country lead to some interesting conversations: ”is that an elephant? I don’t know I can’t see….” Or ”is that a cow? Oh yeah, sure is.”

By the end of 5 days my prescription was reduced, and I was reading two and a half more lines on an eye chart from a distance of one meter. The spherical and axis portions of my prescription have now been completely eliminated, and the overall prescription was reduced by 0.75 in my right eye. Not too shabby for 5 days. I also had a pair of reduced lenses made for my glasses. All this makes me want to confront my optometrist; “why create a dependence? As opposed to encouraging the eye to see better?” I so distinctively remember being told as a 12 year old to wear my glasses when in the class room and when watching TV and movies…

Pondicherry is a former French colony and the influence that the French have left here is very predominant. There are loads of pseudo French restaurants and tons of colonial French architecture – if you are into that kind of stuff :) Much of the appeal was the tranquility of the town. As a large portion of the city resembles a small European town, this is where the Sri Aurobindo Ashram is dispersed (actually the Ashram is not very prominent in the town at all). But crossing the Canal road, would instantaneously through you back into India.

We wanted to check out Auroville, and so decided to take some scooters and check it out. The super friendly receptionist from our guest house offered to lead us there on his bike. We had also picked up a straggler that particular morning, a strange character who claimed that is was his birthday and he was visiting friends, he turned out to be harmless but gave us all an uneasy feeling. Oh well, no harm, no foul. So we were on our way and took in the sight of a couple of banyan trees, and the famous golden meditation hall (golf ball). We were about to leave, slightly dissatisfied, but we found some friends, and checked out the Tibetan pavilion, saw some art and checked out the awesome architecture of Auroville.

The Mother and the philosophy of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. Enlightenment and the a new consciousness. Yeah its kinda scarry to write about these types of things as they seem so far out there, but there might be something to it, as it seems that Pondicherry was 'spared' from the effects of the Tsunami... Things that make you go hmmmm.

Yoga in the Mountains of Kerala – Yoga the quest for Enlightenment

An American couple from Seattle recommended that we check out this recently started yoga ashram in the mountains of Kerala. It turned out to be the greatest introduction to yoga imaginable.

The ashram sits at top of a mountain and boarders the Idukki Wildlife Sanctuary in the Southern state of Kerala. The facilities are basic and simple, but anything more would remove you from the beauty of the mountain. With our arrival we were greeted with fresh herbal water, knowing that this would be a great stay. The ashram really only consists of the two incredible hosts; Sudarsh and Harilal (the is also a cook). The relationship seemed kind of strange in the beginning – Sudarsh had chosen Harilal as his guru, having given up his life as a Brahman and now devoting himself to his guru. Harilal seemed a little cold at the beginning, but we then found out that they had had some guests that were not ideal.

The food was phenomenal. We were given two meals a day with a small snack in the afternoon – tea and cookies. The meals were traditional South Indian, simple and yet so great. I will have to do some research to find some of the recipes, but the two best meals were a plantain and semolina plate and secondly a steamed rice powder dish that marries to curry… Ohhh The food also served to keep the ISL at bay. The food is quite specifically aimed at keeping the digestive system calm.

The days started with a morning meditation session that was held outside provided the wind was not too cold. (I hear it is -35 back home, here we meant not so cold that you need more than a long sleeve shirt on…) The morning meditations as the sun was still rising were incredible. We would then break for tea followed by a yoga session. This would then lead to a nice and long anticipated brunch… The afternoons continued with Karma yoga (see Amma’s Ashram – previous post) and an evening yoga session and meditation. The days flew by with the rhythm of life focusing on meditation and yoga. We also really connected with our hosts, finding a wealth of knowledge in the little hideaway.

The asanas (or postures) are what I associate with yoga are only one of the eight branches (branches, not levels, that may be studies simultaneously) of yoga. I learned that the goal is to reach a better state of consciousness through the various branches. But here the focus was much more on the meditative side. Something that I preferred, as it would have been a feeble waste of time to try and master the asanas. I began to see this trip to India taking the form of a spiritual learning journey. This idea is still very strong some two weeks later now.

If you are interested, check out their web page at: www.arshayoga.org Arsha Yoga Gurukulam Yaga Ashram.

Alleppey

From Amma’s we headed to Alleppey to meet up with Lucia and her sister for a house boat tour… The South of India was proving to be a real break from the hustle and bustle of the North. The boat trip was total relaxation. We had everything taken care of and didn’t need to think about food or transportation.

Think about the size of an insect, for you to be able to see it in the dark! Then think about its size when he sees you, and try’s to run away – and you HEAR him running. Now picture this insect as a cockroach that is in your room on a house boat! I had just walked out of the bathroom, and turned off the light, when I saw a dark spot on the wall. For fear of spreading roach eggs everywhere (when you crush them) or worse a surprise attack later on in the evening, I let him to his business. But that wasn’t the macho story that I gave the ladies...

After the boat trip we hung out in Alleppey. It was so hot, that when we stumbled across a movie theatre we went in to avoid the heat. They were showing “Ghost Rider” a movie that fit the bill; English, simple to follow, and some mind numbing action. For a while it felt like being back home, getting into the movie but there were some subtle differences, take for example the ear drum bursting volume of the sound system. Like a teenaged kid borrowing his parents car, it was way to loud for the quality of the system… Then there were the shrieks from the boys in the audience when ever the sexy actress would come on screen, man these kids need some serious sexual tension built up. But the clincher, was seeing the rats scurrying between the aisles every 20 minutes or so. “Yup, defiantly still in India” I thought. But seriously, those poor rats they couldn’t find a seat that fit them, the whole movie they were running around trying to find a seat where they could see.

Amma’s ashram

From Varkala we were headed North to visit another Ashram, this time it was Amma or the Hugging Amma’s ashram. We took a boat trip up the backwaters of Kerala to get to the ashram. The ride was pretty cool, there are the old style Chinese fishing nets, that are still used and loads of great views from the water. It was a welcome break to be a peaceful waterway compared to the stressful roads.

The ashram really didn’t strike a cord with me, I think it was because of the blind devotion and hysteria that I saw while there. Everyone was completely obsessed with Amma, asking if we know when she was scheduled to arrive, or weather she had given me darsha (a hug). On the boat ride to the ashram we met a Chilean woman, who seemed kind of interesting in the beginning, but later proved to be a quite fanatical guru chaser. Well let’s just say that there were a few people whom I met, that did more to turn me off to the idea than anything else. It seemed to me that many of the people are not grounded, and need to devote themselves completely. But the 4 days spent there were relaxing and fulfilling.

To help with the daily operations of the ashram, they ask that visitors volunteer two hours a day. They call this Karma Yoga – or chores for you and me. I decided to try my luck at the garbage duty, even though it was at 7:00 am, I thought it better to get it over and done with, then not have to worry about it the rest of the day. Wow, it was a learning experience, I have a new appreciation for the people who do this around the world. It was neat to find that so many other people have the same neurotic note writing habit that I do, almost every garbage can was a testament to note scribing on ANY possible piece of paper. Then there was the elephant incident. We were chased by an elephant during garbage duty, while pushing the garbage cart around, the local elephant (with trainer) were basically running us down. It was so surreal – pushing this cart of garbage around and constantly looking back to see if this huge animal was going to trample you!

Then as it turned out, I did meet Amma, not at the scheduled darsham, but when she arrived from her trip to Sri Lanka. I was waiting in the queue for lunch and she walked by giving a high five to everyone (well it was more of a touch of the hand, but high five sounds cooler!!!!). From that point forward, I told everyone that she gave me a high five… I don’t think very many people got the joke, oh well, their loss (I think its funny).

I must say Amma is a good mother, as I got FAT in those four days. It was because of the scheduled eating, you could only eat at the canteen and bakery during set hours, so even if you were not hungry you had to eat because everything would be closed in a little while. A lot of carbs, phew. Again being on the cost, there many sun sets that were seen. I also took the time to practice some Jiu-Jitsu in my room.

Varkala was cool

Varkala is a small beach town on the South Western Cost of India, in the state of Kerala. It proved to be a great place to recover from the ISL of the past few days. We met up with a Swiss couple that was in Trivandrum at the same guest house, they were sick too!

The town is situated at the top of a sea-side cliff, with beautiful views every evening of the spectacular sun sets, something that we tend to forget about unless it is laid down in front of us. Being on the coast, naturally lent itself to walks on the beach. Is there anything quite like the feeling of sand beneath your feet? The food in Varkala was also great, we found a great Tibetan restaurant which had awesome fish momo’s (we found our selves going there almost everyday).

Many of the restaurants would display fish to lure in potential clients. But this doesn’t mean that they are fresh, as one couple pointed out that a calamari had been on display for 5 days. But for the most part you could tell the better restaurants had a lot of traffic and the fish displays would be empty by the end of the night. It did hurt to see the Blue Marlin’s on display, such a beautiful fish. But this was really the first place that we were non veg. on the trip. Being on the coast you have to enjoy the sea food.

We decided to brave the roads and rent a scooter, getting a wicked sunburn, and enjoying the Indian traffic. Wandering through the streets at your own pace is the best way to get a feel for the local ambiance. And it helps to keep cool, by simply hitting the gas, and feeling the power of the 20 HP zipping you to 40 Km/hr. OH YEAH!!!!!

There is a local in Varkala who has written a book on the Da Vinci Code, stating that he has discovered the REAL code, but after watching the video and listening to some of his theories it seems like a little too far fetched. We were suckered into buying the books – the ever popular conspiracy theories! We did manage to catch a few flicks at one of the cliff side restaurants – which begs the question; how good is a restaurant that needs to show two free movies a night??? Well I’ll tell you BBBBAAAAAADDDD. But the movies were alright, Da Vinci Code and Borat! Watching Borat on the cliff side, while in the midst of some yanks was quite memorable.

I had to try smoking a cigarette to get the bowels moving… It didn’t send me to the bathroom, but my head did spin quite a bit. Yeah I can see how people can get addicted to this. Here in India they sell “Bidis” that are all natural whole tobacco leaf cigarettes. I’ll bring some back for who ever wants to give them a try.

TRIVANDRUM

It was time to leave Pune and head South, we took a taxi to Mumbai to catch a flight to Trivandrum. The flight proved to be difficult as the ISL stuck again. Good thing we opted for the plane, as the alternative was a 44 hour train ride…. On the last 20 minutes of the 90 minute flight, we could see an endless sea of palm trees. It reminded me of the ‘Palmar’ national park North of Buenos Aires. But this was a true sea of palms!

The ISL hung around for a few days and forced a visit to the hospital. We tried to hail a rickshaw to get to the hospital, but we could not find one that understood ‘hospital’ or ‘doctor.’ So we went to hotel to try and find someone who spoke English to help find a rickshaw. Funnily enough, he hails a rickshaw, and says ‘hospital’ and we are off. Our Canadian accent does seem to cause a little trouble with some Indians; after several attempts to ask for something, they say “Oh! Yes.” So we reached the hospital and were admitted quickly. We saw the ‘casualty’ doctor right away. The synonyms are great aren’t they!

Before long I was lying down on a bed with some iv. Within minutes I was feeling better. But once it was all pumping though me, I headed back to see the doc, and started to feel dizzy, the next thing I knew I could hear an old time radio that was in another language. “No, he is OK” someone said suddenly. I opened my eyes as I thought that they were talking about me. I had fainted and was totally dreaming and came to when they were trying to lift me onto a bed. It wasn’t scary at all, but the body just shut down for a second. They decided to give me another iv just to be sure that I would get all the water and minerals back into my system. They also called for a blood test and prescribed some probiotics. Without knowing all that was wrong they wanted to stimulate the good bacteria in my stomach and make sure that I would get rehydrated. That pesky ISL really had it in for me. But since the hospital experience things have been great! In retrospect it was really cool to have had that experience in the hospital, it was clean and super efficient, not to mention the fact that the doctors stayed clear of anti-biotics.

It was almost reminiscent of those American Express adds:

Price of Rickshaw to hospital – 30 Rs. ($0.85 CND)

Two iv’s – 120 Rs. ( $4.00 CND)

Probiotics – 80 Rs. ( $2.10 CND)

Not having to run to the john every 55 minutes –

PRICELESS…

Our time in Trivandrum was short, but with all the associated issues, I was happy to move on. Next stop the beach town of Verkela.

Random Ramblings

For those don’t know a Cornetto is an ice-cream, it’s just like a Drumstick back home just better. While the Cornetto’s in China and South America are just divine, sadly they are not the same in India :( But that is alright, as there are plenty of other treats to discover. Take the “Metro” chocolate bar! Yes that’s right, now you can be fashionably sensible and fix a car at the same time! And the endless Indian sweets made with milk, pistachio, and fried goodness.

Forget "Delhi Belly" the one to worry about is "ISL" – Indian Stomach Leviathan - If I need to explain it to you, then you would not understand. Enough said.

“Oh so that’s what fell on my head…. A gecko turd…” Just one of those things that you wouldn’t hear in Canada. Said when we were almost pooped on by a little gecko in a store. But said in reference to when we WERE pooped on earlier!